What are you doing here?" asked Tony, the gorgeous, muscular urban housecleaner.

He'd just let himself into friend Sara's house and strolled into her kitchen, bold as brass, not looking remotely as if he was planning on cleaning it.

"I could ask the same of you?" I retorted, having a perfectly good reason for being there myself but wondering if his was entirely innocent.

My perfectly good reason revolved around having come up with a way to supplement meagre income, made from writing rubbish for Sunday supplements and women's magazines. This still involves writing rubbish for Sunday supplements and women's magazines but, instead of operating from former boot cupboard now home office, I would take laptop to more spacious surroundings of other peoples light and airy kitchens and work, while I wait on their behalf, charging a small fee for the waiting.

Came up with the idea, which as with all ideas someone has probably already come up with and actually does, after spending most of the week waiting for various plumbers, gardeners, builders etc. to turn up to do the things they said they'd turn up to do. But, as learning to tell the time and date is not one of the things they learn at plumbing, building and gardening school, they never actually did.

Plumber, who said he'd come at 9.30am on Monday to fix dripping shower, hadn't turned up by lunchtime and, when I phoned, claimed crisis of burst pipe elsewhere but promised to come the following morning. He never did. Not willing to give him second chance, I phoned another plumber who came immediately and sorted dripping shower, which did not, therefore, need fixing by original plumber who eventually turned up, without warning, on Saturday.

Gardener said he'd come and lay some turf on Monday, phoned to say he couldn't but he'd come on Tuesday, never did and never answered any of my calls wondering if he was planning on coming any other day. Builder said he'd come to quote for rebuilding fallen down garden wall but never did and, having wasted enough time chasing errant tradesmen, I didn't even bother to call him and instead asked Rugrats' friends' dad James, who has time on his hands while waiting for his big acting break, if he could lay turf and fix wall himself.

He said he could and sowed the germ of the alternative income plan by telling me that he'd had an audition last week, on a day which coincided with someone delivering and installing a new dishwasher. As James didn't want to miss chance for big break, he went to audition and his, charging an absolute fortune by the hour, solicitor wife took the morning off charging an absolute fortune to wait for dishwasher.

"You should have asked me to wait for it," I told James. "I could just as easily work from your house as mine."

"I'd buy you a bottle of wine" said James, grudgingly. It's not a bad idea for a business though."

Sara also thought it "not a bad idea" and coincidentally needed someone to be in her house the following day, as she was expecting a new computer.

I set up laptop on her kitchen table and tried to get on with some work, when the door opened and, as I didn't expect the computer delivery man to gain access quite so easily, I went to investigate.

It was Tony, looking very smart casual and not as if he was about to do any cleaning in Sara's house and very surprised to find me sitting in her kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, accusingly before I asked the same of him . . .