"What on earth have you got in here?" said him indoors as he rather melodramatically used both hands to heave my handbag off the centre of the kitchen table.

"I swear you must actually have the kitchen sink in there going by the weight of it."

"Just the usual stuff, stuff I need," I said.

"What stuff? How can anyone need to carry that much stuff around with them?" he asked.

I looked inside my admittedly capacious and rather full handbag.

"Well, there's my purse, which is full of change and quite heavy, my cheque book, paying-in book, three letters I haven't opened yet so they're in there to remind me to open them at some point, £5 in coppers bagged up to take to the bank, two hairbrushes, one for me and one for daughter because her bag is too small to fit her hairbrush in, a packet of tissues, five packs of chewing gum and a pack of nicotine patches, which I must actually start using soon, a packet of cigarettes and three lighters, my make-up bag with my essential make-up in it because otherwise daughter steals my mascara and I have to go to work with invisible eyelashes, three deodorant samples I was given in town on Saturday - I don't know if they were trying to tell me something - the charger for my mobile because I keep losing it otherwise, my mobile phone, daughter's mobile phone because her bag is too small for it to fit in, the dog's worming tablets that I forgot to take out after picking them up from the vets, my stethoscope for work because otherwise I forget it, seven pens, three pencils, my diary, business cards in a case, address book, the case for your mobile phone - don't know why that's in there - the cat's old collar to remind me to get a new one, a shopping list, a picture of a top I saw in a magazine that I am trying to find and my work keys and house keys - see, stuff I need. Anyway, you have stuff everywhere."

"Yes but I don't carry it all around with me all the time." he rejoined. "And anyway you put all your stuff in my places as well."

"I do not," I said.

"Yes you do," he said. "You two have about three shelves each in in the bathroom. I have one for my razor and deodorant but it's still crammed with your jars and potions and you borrow my razor.

"I don't think that fetching lilac jacket, two evening gowns and collection of nurses' uniforms in my wardrobe would either fit or suit me and what about all your stuff in my shed? My shed was supposed to be my private bloke's place full of private bloke's stuff.

"Last time I looked there was a hamster (daughter's - moved in there away from the paint fumes while we decorated her room), a freezer (there was nowhere else to put it and anyway that belongs to everybody), a tumble dryer (he suggested getting one even though I told him it would have to go in the shed), a large fish tank (my brother's - left for storage while he moves to France), garden cushions and deck chairs (put in there until we get the greenhouse mended), a collection of carrier bags (might come in useful), a collection of plastic containers without lids (might come in useful), daughter's bike (to keep it out of the rain) and a box of books (waiting to be given to charity). There is no room for my bloke's stuff at all."

"Just as well you don't have too many belongings then isn't it," I said.