A wry look at Worthing

He was rewarded by the sight of a twinkling orange light in the south-east and mesmerised by the fact that one day soon man might leave footprints on its surface.

The last time anybody got such a clear naked-eye view of the Red Planet from our fertile world was when Neanderthal man roamed the wilderness.

While most of the human race has come a long way since then, there remains in the Durrington area some troublesome families who would give this extinct branch of the human race a run for its money in the intelligence stakes.

Talking of the ancients, Sentinel noted the window display of North Street solicitors AR Brown has a certain Queen Cleopatra feel about it.

Out and about on Sunday, Sentinel spotted pigeon fanciers releasing boxes of racing birds from the sea wall opposite Capelia House and also an artist working on a fine painting of St Andrew's Church, West Tarring.

Apparently the artist lives in a tent near Angmering and loads all his worldly goods, including a set of paints and an easel, on his bicycle.

Sentinel was delighted to note the Marks & Spencer clock in Montague Street is back in situ - and telling the time perfectly.

Maybridge doesn't always get the best of write-ups so Sentinel must point out the truly outstanding front garden flower displays created by the occupants of 19 and 21 Maybridge Crescent.

Yet again Worthing's numerous conker trees are brimming with spoils but sadly very few children appear to be taking advantage of nature's bounty to stage exciting playground duels.

Ambling through The Royal Arcade, Sentinel's attention was diverted by the fact Nick's Diner burger bar had been converted into a rather smart juice bar called Zest.

He was also interested to observe last Wednesday at Holders Corner in Montague Street a "statue man" dressed like Lawrence of Arabia, with an alabaster face and slightly discoloured sports socks.

When a shopper rattled his ice bucket with loose change, the man flicked his eyebrows up and down like Roger Moore on mind-bending substances before smelling a red rose and then freezing again.

Glancing through the window of what used to be Worthing Boat Club, next to Checkers bar in Marine Parade, Sentinel noted the inside was being stripped back, with only a few old leather lounge seats in situ.

The pennants which once adorned the clubhouse are long gone and have been replaced by three saws, hanging in line abreast like a flotilla of destroyers.

Talking of maritime matters, the Waverley paddle-steamer is visiting Worthing (weather-permitting) on Monday for a voyage to Swanage and Lulworth Cove.

The trip, which departs from Worthing at 9.30am, includes a close-up view of the famous Needles lighthouse before the Waverley docks at Portsmouth Harbour, having first steamed past the British fleet.

It is undoubtedly a long day and Sentinel, having been on a similar cruise, urges people to don warm clothing because it can get very chilly in the Channel, especially at this time of year.

In Victorian times, women wishing to bathe in the sea at Worthing had to do so from the privacy of huts wheeled down to the water's edge.

They then discreetly took a dip in the briny, well away from prying eyes, dressed from head to foot to preserve their modesty.

Sentinel therefore had a whiff of nostalgia when he saw two Muslim ladies, with only their faces showing as Islam demands, rather uneasily going for a paddle just east of the pier.

He also spotted an elderly English gentlemen in a chair just west of the pier, with a green holdall perched on his head in a bid to keep the sun off.

With regards to the pier, Sentinel was impressed to see a new set of signal flags spelling out Worthing had been hoisted, replacing some rather wind-ravaged predecessors.

If only the council would splash out a few bob on some quality flags bearing a detailed depiction of the borough's colourful coat-of-arms.

Perhaps one of our county councillors, who each claimed between £8,000 and £20,000 from the public purse, could fund such a project.

In 1999 Sentinel embarked on an ambitious project to make a photographic record of Worthing and surrounding villages to mark the millennium.

This resulted in many hundreds of pictures, taken over the following four years, being presented to Worthing Local Studies Library and Worthing Museum.

One of the early subject matters was Findon Sheep Fair, which was then still graced by sheep herded together in pens for auction on Nepcote Green.

At the time Sentinel sensed he was recording for posterity an event that would soon be consigned to the history books - and that has proved to be the case.

While a fair of sorts still takes place, it seems highly likely that sheep auctions will never feature again, which is a desperately sorry state of affairs.

Wandering around the town centre, Sentinel's attention was diverted by a small balsa Spitfire flying across the entrance of a shop in Warwick Street and, on investigating further, he noted the former Optimus book shop had been turned into a rather fine children's establishment called Babybazar.

With multi-national chains dominating high streets, it is refreshing to find local businesses with a long pedigree, such as Spratt's estate agents in Brighton Road, which harks back to 1948.

But Spratt's has a considerable way to go before it can match the provenance of Patchings estate agents, which now has a branch in Chapel Road sporting a facade bearing the date 1825.

Wandering through Ferring village, near Ocean Parade recently, Sentinel noted the former site of a pleasant abode called Owl Cottage, complete with ceramic owl on the roof, had been replaced by two bungalows so tightly packed together there was hardly room to swing a sparrow.

The corner of Worthing created by the merging of Montague Street, Rowlands Road and Crescent Road is already known as restaurant row, boasting a fine array of eateries reflecting cuisine from all over the world.

So Sentinel was intrigued to discover a Portugese-Italian establishment called Case Madeira is opening in Crescent Road next to La Difference, the town's first creperie.

Crescent Road and West Buildings have an eclectic mix of shops, including a new nail salon, where Sentinel spotted a chap in a surgical face mask manicuring a girl's nails, which seemed a little extreme.

Searching for a spot of nosebag last week, Sentinel popped into the Bosun's Cafe, West Buildings, where he was most impressed by the following blackboard announcement: "Fancy something that's not on the menu? Just ask."

Sentinel was delighted to note the Waterfront pub, at the junction of Marine Parade and Steyne Gardens, is back in head-banging mood.

Formerly known as the Inn on the Prom, it was often packed at weekends with heavy rock fans who spent a considerable sum behind the bar while watching live bands perform.

Suddenly, however, for reasons unknown to Sentinel, the plug was pulled, and the establishment lost hundreds of punters virtually overnight.

Presumably noise disturbing hotel guests was a factor but happily matters appear to have been resolved and rock'n' roll is definitely back in fashion.

Driving over Broadwater Bridge, Sentinel's attention was diverted by the absence of the skip recently used by a plant hire business to advertise its presence.

It has thankfully been removed, and now all we need is for Teville Gate to go the same way.

Sentinel was wondering what possessed West Sussex County Council to draw up such a daft road layout in Railway Approach, which forces traffic to the right instead of the left, catching out numerous unwary drivers.

Sentinel has long been a patron of Uncle Jim's Kebab House in Teville Road and he firmly believes it should now be given heritage status, perhaps with a blue plaque outside.

Talking of food, the Castle Tavern near Broadwater Bridge is offering a bargain deal, with meals just £3.95 from noon to 3pm and 6pm to 9pm.