The mother of a teenager who died after driving his car over a cliff visited the scene of his death just days before his funeral.
Chris Bull is believed to have killed himself after telling his parents he did not belong in this world.
The 19-year-old was being laid to rest in Brighton today.
His parents Angela and Ian, brothers Adam, 21, Ryan, 13, Nick, 12, Cieran, three, and sister Emma, 19, were saying their goodbyes at the family's home in Bramble Rise, Brighton, before the popular milkman's coffin was taken by silver Mercedes to Woodvale Chapel.
The service had been tailored to celebrate his life with music including the Cat Stevens version of Father And Son, California Dreamin' and another of the teenager's favourites, Under The Bridge by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, which has the haunting final line "I gave my life away".
Chris's mother Angela, 39, visited the spot where Chris spent his final moments in the early hours of February 3.
His car was found on the beach some distance from the foot of the cliff near Keymer Avenue in Peacehaven.
She said: "I wasn't going to go but now I am so glad I went. It wasn't desolate as I expected. There are houses all around. It wasn't a lonely place."
The family has taken comfort from test results which show Chris had no drugs or alcohol in his system - apart from normal levels of anti-depressants he was taking.
Mrs Bull said: "We know he did it with a clear head. He was too good for this world and although it may sound strange, we are trying to be happy for him.
"In his last few days there were no arguments and he got to say his goodbyes in his own way. Some people do not even have that. We are just looking for the positives.
"He hadn't got a nasty bone in his body. His nan is blind and he used to lead her around. But he was great with little ones too - he was about to become an uncle.
"He loved being with people but he wore himself out being so upbeat. He needed solitude as well. He found his emotions difficult to live with. He didn't like lies and had to tell the truth no matter what. Whatever people wanted him to be, he tried to take the role on.
"He wanted to be a fireman but knew he needed more life experience first. He had done a lot of jobs and would be so bright and full of confidence at first but then he would go down.
"This time I think he decided that although he could come up again, he didn't want to feel that way again."
Chris was a pupil at St Mark's Primary in Whitehawk, Bevendean Primary, Falmer High and Blatchington Mill. He played football with Brighton Old Boys. He worked as a milkman for about six months before his death and his round included Peacehaven, Newhaven and sometimes Hove.
His mother had known of his suicidal thoughts and told a psychiatrist she feared he would kill himself.
Chris spent his last Saturday night at the Creation nightclub in Brighton, then spent the next day at home.
Mrs Bull recalled: "He kept coming up to me saying, "Whatever happens I love you", and he kept cuddling his brothers."
That night Chris joined his mother at a Wimpy restaurant for what would be his last meal.
She recalls her son looking "a bit blank". I feel guilty because I told him I just wanted him to be happy. I feel like in some way I gave him permission."
Police arrived to break the news of Chris's death at 4am the next day.
Mrs Bull said: "My little boy had been 19 but at the end he was shrinking in front of my eyes. When I saw him in the mortuary he looked huge, determined. he had grown. He wasn't scared any more."
The teenager had bought his girlfriend Vicky Nye an engagement ring at Christmas and was planning to propose when he felt better.
Vicky, 18, said: "I loved him and I always will."
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