Nutritionists have been telling people for years to take vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids but, according to the Food Standards Agency, we've got it all wrong.
They tell us vitamins and minerals may have irreversible harmful effects.
As I am certain the FSA protects people rather than politicians and profits, I am changing my recommendations to remain "on message": Ignore the American Medical Association which says we should all be taking a multivitamin every day.
What does it know? You should get all the nutrients you need from a balanced diet.
Well, you jolly well ought to - it's not the government's fault our modern diet often contains more synthetic chemicals and pesticides than nutrients.
Disregard the fact that last year in the UK, nobody died from taking vitamin pills but thousands died from taking prescription drugs.
Most animals are capable of making their own vitamin C and produce more of it when they are sick.
It's a pity humans have lost the ability to do the same because Vitamin C has been shown to be more effective at suppressing HIV than conventional drugs.
In humans, supplemental vitamin C intake extends average lifespan and reduces mortality from cardiovascular disease.
Thousands of studies demonstrate that the recommended daily nutrient allowances of vitamins and minerals are woefully inadequate for the 21st Century.
But we can't allow people to take control of their own health with supplementation, can we?
My new mantra is: "High dose supplements are harmful."
Once you repeat a phrase often enough, people eventually start to believe it, even if it is completely misleading.
There is no substance on the planet that is absolutely safe in massive doses and most of us are sensible enough not to swallow crate-loads of chromium, zinc, manganese or vitamin B6.
However, the agenda here is to not to report on good science but frighten the daylights out of people, then cut off their supply to many safe supplements.
Watch out for plenty more scare stories in the media in preparation for the European supplement directives which will ban more than 200 safe and effective minerals and vitamins.
Instead, we will have access to low doses of synthetic, inorganic and ineffective forms with added aspartame sold by pharmaceutical companies.
So, please resist taking vitamins and minerals, they may make you turn green or grow two heads. But don't worry, you still have unlimited access to sugar, E-numbers, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and any number of drugs - you are likely to need them.
In the process, you'll be charitably donating your body in order to generate profit for drug companies.
Your generosity and your general health will be much appreciated.
If you object to irresponsible and inaccurate media reports that vitamins can damage your health, support your local health food shops and sign their petitions.
If you want to protest against the proposed supplement legislations and defend your basic human rights for a healthy future, join the march in central London on Sunday, June 15, at 11am from Hyde Park to Trafalgar Square (www.healthfreedommovement.com)
Martina is a qualified nutritionist at the Crescent Clinic of Complementary Medicine, 37 Vernon Terrace, Brighton. Tel: 01273 202221 or email: martina@thehealthbank.co.uk
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