Becoming a parent is a big deal (just in case you weren‘t already aware). You undergo a type of spiritual transformation but the catch is, you’re so busy being a parent, you really don’t have time to capture this landmark journey. This Friday at the Tarner Children’s Centre, will be a performance of Mothers Uncovered: Your Stories. It is the collective voice of mothers who have been taking part in a series of creative writing workshops, facilitating women to share and articulate their experiences.
The project is the brainchild of Brighton-based mum, Maggie Gordon-Walker. The idea stemmed from Maggie’s experiences after giving birth to her first child 5 years ago, living in London. She said: "I didn’t have a support network around me, all the groups I went to just seemed to chit-chat. Nobody was interested in my perspective or experience as a mother. I felt quite lonely and isolated." After reading Naomi Stadlen’s acclaimed book What Mothers Do and attending the author’s forums, she realised she had been given an outlet to talk about what she had been going through and wanted to do the same for others.
"Women go through this amazing and incredibly challenging experience and very little of it gets reported. Instead we hear reams about bankers and corrupt politicians. I wanted mothers’ stories to be told."
Together with her partner, she started an arts company Livestock, which is a registered charity and the channel for producing Mothers Uncovered as a project and stage performance. After moving to Brighton, Maggie approached the local children’s centres to see if they were interested in the sessions as well as applying for a variety of grants and awards.
The first production, Mothers Uncovered: The Naked Truth was presented at last year’s Fringe Festival to positive reviews. Maggie and her partner created characters as a vehicle to share the stories, which were played by mothers - in fact every woman associated with the group is a mum.
I asked Maggie what she has remarked most about the women taking part in the workshops. "The best thing is seeing their confidence grow as they talk about things they might not have been able to elsewhere." She adds: "I have been staggered by the power and intensity of the material created, especially those who say they’re ‘not really a writer'."
Naturally, I wanted to get involved too but could only make the last session from the recent programme. Immediately I could sense the bonds the women had built up over the prior workshops and felt it was a mistake to have missed the prior workshops, even though everyone made me feel welcome. Each person was encouraged to keep a journal to make a note of their random thoughts and feelings. I gleaned from reading these journals that a wide range of themes were touched on during the course of the workshops: dealing with anger, re-evaluating the relationship with your partner, how your body image has changed, how friendships have changed and what do you dream about.
The writing tutor facilitating the workshop, encouraged us to write a short piece on "The Best Thing About Being a Mother & The Worst Thing About Being a Mother" in 10 minutes. As we read aloud from our paper, many of us couldn’t help but nod vigorously and smile as we completely identified with what was being shared.
As the afternoon came to a close, one of the mothers assertively requested for everyone to stay in touch, as she had had an "amazing few weeks", to which everyone chorused in agreement. This made my heart warm immensely.
Looking around Brighton, you can‘t turn a street corner without being run over by a buggy. However, when it comes down to it, not many people are really interested in hearing about a mother's daily battle. People with older children have conveniently forgotten what it was like to have a baby or toddler (and I don’t really blame them!). I even see my well-meaning childless friends eyes glaze over during some of my diatribes. After all, we’re the ones who chose to have the kids, why is it such a hardship? And compared to mothers in developing countries, what have we got to mope about? That may be true on one level, however, we’re still the ones doing it (what comes naturally to our bodies, for the record) and counting our blessings doesn’t necessarily help us cope. With around 1 in 10 women suffering from post-natal depression in the UK, which I find alarmingly high, groups like Mothers Uncovered need to be taken seriously, even if there is a comical aspect to the material.
So what is next for Mothers Uncovered? Maggie fills me in: "We’d really love to run sessions for dads too, as some have expressed an interest." There’s also more discussion groups for mums with babies (up to 10 months old) on the horizon, as well as the aim to have a monthly spot at theatre: "Kind of a Vagina Monologues, but for mothers," she explains.
The ultimate for Maggie would be to collate the stories into a book and have that in every Bounty pack that gets given on the labour ward. Sadly, she also told me of her funding issues. They seem to be a casualty of these precarious times and have lost funding from a few sources. Maggie welcomes anyone with any ideas to get in touch via www.livestock.co.uk.
The material from the Adult Learning Festival programme of Mothers Uncovered will be presented at a performance at the Tarner Children’s Centre, this Friday, March 12 at 1.15pm. All are welcome and a crèche is provided.
There will also be a performance as part of the Spring Forward events on Saturday, March 20 at 2.30pm in the Jubilee Library.
Don’t forget to check the blog for more extracts of women’s writing and testimonials from recent graduates: http://mothersuncovered.blogspot.com.
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