Have you ever asked someone out? If you have, I would like to give you a pat on the back and some sort of a badge for bravery.

I am a coward. If I fancy someone, I tend to wait until fuelled by alcohol and then send them a text message, alerting them to my feelings. At the time of texting I am completely convinced that I am sober and very funny. I am always neither of these things and waking up the next day is usually followed by a hangover and an unbearable feeling of regret, that has me looking under the duvet for a time machine.

I remember asking out a boy called Jamie when I was 16. He was tall (I am 5ft 2ins so this isn't much of a feat), dark, extremely funny and I fancied the pants off him. After much debate with friends, I decided to seek out a moment when we would be on our own. This so happened to be outside a village hall one summers evening (I was 16, so hanging around outside a village hall was quite acceptable). He started to walk away from the herd and like a lion, I saw my opportunity. I called after him and having thought about what I was going to say for a month at least, I said something like:

'Jamie, I was wondering whether you fancied going out sometime?'

'Jen, you are a great girl, but I think that we are better off as friends.'

'Yeah, Jamie, you’re right.'

This appalling attempt to prove that I was in fact the girl of his dreams took months of planning and then I forgot all I had memorised and garbled out that nonsense. To make it all the more embarrassing, I then agreed with him - that we were better off as friends!

I remember that asking Jamie out was particularly awkward - as these situations often are - but it was exacerbated by the fact that we were standing on a slope. Jamie was nearer the top and I was near the bottom and the picture that sticks in my head of the moment I put my 16 year old heart on the line, is of Jamie looking like a giant. This means that I can only have looked like an ant to him. No wonder he said no.

Since that day I have not asked someone out unless inebriated.





I heard a story recently about a boy who liked a girl - the usual stuff. He worked with her and they became good friends. He wrestled with ‘just being friends’ and then decided that he would bite the bullet and tell her that he wanted more than that. I am not sure what he said, but I can bet it was a hundred times superior to anything I have regurgitated over the years, and after a few dates, they started going out and have just moved in together.





The saying is that ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’ and this is true. The key is however, finding the right time, not being wasted, ensuring that you don’t make inappropriate jokes about their dead pet and that they actually like you enough to see where this could go.