I’m a working mum and apparently, I’m supposed to be feeling ‘mum guilt’. This is the latest in a long line of media buzz phrases designed to irritate the hell out of parents.

I think it’s a huge mistake to label the feelings as guilt. Yes, the separation from your child is hard but in these modern harsh economic times many families don‘t have much choice but to have both parents working. ‘Guilt’ implies you are doing something wrong. It’s more heartbreak than guilt.

Leaving your little one for long periods of time, when the natural urge is to stay with them, is extremely difficult to get used to. I am actually very happy to be back at work, it’s crucial interaction with other adults that keeps my brain stimulated plus gives me spending power. But I also like my dual personality as mum and don’t always feel empowered to flex that role fully.

It begs the question, when procreating is just about the most natural thing human beings can do, why are parents the ones forced to make so many compromises practically and emotionally?

The truth is, you never really know how you’re going to cope until you’re in the moment. Everyone has different circumstances. You go to great lengths to find the right nursery, get little one settled in and map out the logistics with military precision. Even if you have family looking after the children (which I do) there’s still meal planning and personal care to make provision for. I do believe that kids can benefit from spending time with others outside the primary care givers. The key thing is to evaluate your circumstances and decide what can be changed.

There will always be job roles that aren’t able to be flexible due to their nature but most progressive organisations find ways to accommodate flexible working. With the abundance of technology available for communication at a low cost the need for face to face working is reducing, and working from home is increasingly becoming popular.

If that’s not an option then adapting hours to suit childcare needs can lead to job-sharing or expanding skills across a team to make their roles more interchangeable thus strengthening the business capabilities. This not only enables work life balance for working parents but can also provide business continuity for critical situations (e.g. bird flu, snowy Britain!) as well as strong succession planning to retain key talent.

It is well documented that it is cheaper for a business to develop and retain existing staff rather than recruit externally. So why don’t all businesses adapt?

Unfortunately during a recession companies come under to pressure to streamline workforces - but maintain, and even increase productivity. Many managers find it too complicated to think laterally and apply flexible working practice.

In addition, they have to be very careful to balance the commitment with working parents against those who are more flexible. Although companies cannot outright discriminate against parents, most continue to find ways to make demands upon parents that don’t match their family commitments.

There is a legal process to apply for flexible working which protects parents who ask for it to be considered. The mistake many people make is thinking that companies are obliged to make allowances for parents - they are not, provided they give clear justification against a set criteria.

If you want to take the matter further, it is a difficult and grey area of the law to battle. Plus in the early years of your family life, do you really want to be dealing with legal matters when you could be missing precious moments of your child’s development?

Around half of the working mums I’ve spoken to anecdotally about returning to work have experiences re-integration issues, even redundancy. It doesn’t really sense make does it? The government have been encouraging us to have children for years to keep the birth rate up the progress to accommodate this in our economy is all too slow.

Then to add insult to injury, the media are constantly having a pop at parents about anything in general and coining phrases like 'mum guilt'.

I say, push aside your heartbreak and fight for your natural right to give everything your child needs, a roof over their head, food on the table, a nurturing, supportive relationship to guide them through life.

The ultimate online resource for knowing your work rights and information on flexible working: www.workingfamilies.org - a campaign for greater work/life balance for parents and carers.