This week I have been slightly miserable, a black cloud has been chasing me and I can pin point it to the day we lost Baby’s Blankie Bear. It might not seem a big deal – and it was so dirty and scrappy it definitely didn’t look a big deal – but my heart is broken.

Blankie Bear was the first soft little item Baby enjoyed holding. This holding turned to cuddling, kissing, sucking and then to being loved. Blankie Bear was the chosen companion for bed and a necessity if Baby was ill. I was guaranteed bedtime success just by laying Blankie Bear next to Baby’s face, his little hand automatically reached up to grab him – the day was over and slumber beckoned.

Blankie Bear was just a soft little white square with a small ted’s head on it. He lived in Baby’s cot, but because of daytime naps at nursery he has had to be transported around Brighton regularly – safely tucked into Baby’s pump bag and remembered carefully at the end of the day. I think last week we became too blasé about this system and on a journey home when Baby was feeling a bit under the weather Blankie Bear was allowed to be held in his hands. Arriving home he was gone. Baby couldn’t tell me exactly where he was lost, retracing steps and making calls to all shops visited along the way hasn’t helped and he is still somewhere out there. Lost and alone in Brighton. I feel sad for Blankie Bear that after giving such service to our family he has come to such an end!

I have spoken to a few people about this – and everyone still has or remembers their ‘pookie’ or ‘booboos’. No one has ridiculed either Baby or me for feeling bad about this.

But why do I feel so bad? A little bit of Baby’s childhood has gone – a treasured memory I planned to keep in his ‘memory box’ when finally cast aside in favour of comics and cars. Baby has found getting to sleep difficult without his bedtime pal and tears fill my eyes as I see him looking around his cot for him, his little hand still reaching up into the empty space. He’s sleeping again now, and other cuddlies are aplenty in the cot, but it doesn’t feel the same.

And I too have lost a little friend – in the dark, sleepless, scary nights of being a new first time mum when any comfort you could give Baby was a help - that tiny scrap of white became something I relied on too.

Needless to say if you have seen Blankie Bear please get in touch. Failing that – feel free to tell me about your own little scrap…