When you are a gardener, the most important thing you can do is not to think like a gardener. Gardeners think about cups of tea and planting out seeds and how long they can get away with sitting in the shed.
You need to think like a plant.
For starters, where do you come from? Do you nestle in the rocks high in the mountains? Are you happy living in a dark and damp bog? Would you be quite content if it never rained again?
Putting yourself in your plant’s rooted shoes is the science of creating a microclimate. If you create the right microclimate for each plant, then you can grow just about anything.
This sounds easy on paper. In reality, you face a daily to do list of cloches, sand and feed. We have the lovely Victorians to thank for thinking up ingenious and strange ways to make our plants happy.
A Case of Plants
Explorers and pioneers to a man, they dreamt up clever ways to transport exotic flowers and grow vegetables in the soot and grime of the Industrial Revolution.
In 1832, the rather marvellous Dr. Nathaniel Ward accidentally discovered that seeds sprouted and flourished in his butterfly breeding jars. By the 1850s, “Wardian cases” enabled Robert Fortune to transplant tea from China to India and found an empire.
Do you want to grow tomatoes and peppers in a dull, grey English spring? Pop the top half of a plastic soda bottle on top of the plant and you have your very own terrarium complete with heat and humidity.
Is the late frost turning into a perpetual winter for your frost tender seedlings? Put them in a large clear plastic storage box and wedge the lid open a touch for an instant cold frame.
Carrots and lavender hate wet feet. You need to mix a handful of sand into the soil so that the water drains away evenly. Potatoes like the dark and the cold, so a supermarket jute bag with punched drainage holes gives them a good start in life. Peppers thrive on sulphur and will thank you for putting some matchsticks in the soil occasionally.
The Royal Horticultural Society has a comprehensive site packed with details on every plant you can think of. All you need to do is research your seeds thoroughly before you plant them. Pay particular attention to their country of origin and see what their natural weather is like. Then mimic this as closely as possible with some lateral thinking.
Once you’ve spent some time thinking like a plant, you can happily put your feet up in the shed with a cup of tea.
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