Just over three weeks ago Little L’s father and I finally tied the knot. Naturally it’s a lot of work to organise a wedding. Add a baby into the mix and you discover it has nothing to do with religion why people get married and then have children.
My husband proposed to me almost 19 months ago but three months after getting engaged I discovered I was pregnant. Once we got our heads around the whole thing, we decided to postpone rather than cancel the wedding. I convinced myself, ‘I’m an achiever! Baby and wedding should be a piece of cake. It will be just the project I need to keep me from wasting away on maternity leave.’ Partly true except for the bit where I thought I’d be sitting around twiddling my thumbs once the baby came!
When Little L entered our world, the wedding project was completely under control. We were able to forget about it for three months and focus on our ‘babymoon’. We picked up some of the fun things to arrange i.e. music, dresses, food and drink, in between adjusting to our new roles as parents. Then suddenly, a month before the wedding, I felt the pressure intensify. Numerous meetings and final payments to caterers, florists, musicians, registrars and cake makers all bottlenecked into those last few weeks. It was the first real test of juggling fixed deadlines while trying to ensure baby was priority #1.
The week before the wedding was even worse. I was dashing all over the place for extreme pampering, like one of those tacky TV makeover programs; hair cuts & colour, waxing, spray tan, manicure and pedicure. I was ready to throttle the next person who told me I should be ‘focusing on relaxing and enjoying the week’. I waited to feel like a ‘bride’ although had no idea how that should feel. Maybe a bride without a baby feels like a princess, I certainly didn’t. Then there was the added pressure of saving face, trying not to admit that maybe we had a mistake in organising such a big event so soon after becoming parents. At that point, I wanted to run off to the town hall and get it over with.
However come noon on our wedding day, two hours before the ceremony, I calmly sipped a glass of champagne with a few close friends. It felt like a hundred Christmases rolled into one. The prospect of such a personal and meaningful celebration shared with our nearest and dearest was truly overwhelming. Unfortunately, Little L sensing the excitement, had been all morning without a nap. Oblivious to the formalities prevailing around her, she grizzled all the way through our vows. My mum forced to stand with her to one side of the room, rocking her gently to pacify her. Once the legal part of the ceremony was over, our hearts overloaded with emotion, we abandoned etiquette and took her in our arms.
With that cuddle, she seemed to recognise that it was her day too. I glowed with pride as she grinned on cue to guests who doted over her. Rather than bursting our ‘baby bubble’ with the wedding, as I had feared, we had in fact created a very special one for the three of us: our new family bubble.
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