Home again

We are still very much in contact with the hospice and as well as meeting regularly with Rosie, our palliative care nurse, Stevan (CORR) the artist and Janet the PR officer who has also spent time with me at home.

The occupational health team have also been out to do an assessment and have already supplied me some useful aids around the house.

My wobbly moments, as we choose to call them, are still happening quite regularly but I haven’t had any more major blackouts.

My mum drives over from Henfield most days and she is absolutely wonderful, helping with all the domestic duties as well as looking after me.

I worry that she does too much and then it gets me thinking about how dependent I have become on her.

I also think about the injustice of me being taken away from the boys and the guilt that I feel about leaving them.

Jacob chooses to take on a caring role at home. He’s a bit strict though and won’t go to bed until he knows I’m safely in bed.

I have done a little catching up with friends but mainly, if I have a good day, I put my energy into writing my book.

It’s very therapeutic but also highlights to me just how disabled I have become. My hands shake most of the time and I keep dropping things. I don’t seem to be able to concentrate and my conversation jumps all over the place....

Any plans that I make, I need to co-ordinate with my mum and Tom and whoever I am making the appointments with.

I am really enjoying working on the book with my nephew Daniel and Stevan (CORR) and I already have an idea on designs for the front page and the title of the book.

When I was working with Daniel last week my hands were shaking so much that I ended up covering him in water.

It makes working on the book very difficult as I also keep repeating myself and then apologising for apologising.

I am managing to keep up my healing and beauty treatments but it means a lot of assistance and jigging about with venues.

If you would like to write to Sandra, email sandra.careyboggans@ntlworld.com.