School. Grades. Academics.
These three things mean a lot to every teenager in in this country but for some they mean more than others. For me they mean the difference between making my parents proud and disappointing them. I go to a private school which for some may evoke images of Mallory Towers or Harry Potter but for me, it's hard. It's not magic. It's not fantasy. It is my life.
I'm very lucky that my school has best scholarships and bursaries for most pupils who attend as that is the main focus of the school. Many of my friends live in council flats or come from single parent households and so do I. But when your cousins have just barely passed their GCSE's and you're the next in line to take them, there is undoubtedly pressure. My school expects us to get 7s 8s 9s. They expect us to do be the best. They expect brilliant academics, brilliant athletes, artists, musicians, brilliant everything but some people cannot give that much.
I am autistic. This means that when my brain developed it started with reading and writing. With all the things that people may consider ‘smart’. However, when I turned 11, I needed to socially develop but everyone had already done that. For neurotypical brains they first socially develop then turn to academics. I, like many others, was the opposite. I fell behind socially and although I could read fast or analyse a passage in English, it left me feeling lonely and broken in some ways. What once labelled me ‘gifted’ was the norm. The expectations are so incredibly high of all the children in our country to get 7s 8s and 9s. But when it all relies on one or two tests with no retakes it is daunting. In our world, your GCSEs or A-levels determine whether you'll become a lawyer or just work at the local Tesco's. When like me, you are a scholarship child having so many people relying on you, it is hard to try and find the energy to care.
You know you won't be one of those people who will get all nines. You know you’re not going to the Olympics or Royal Albert Hall. You know you might just scrape past in maths. You know the weight on your shoulders.
But our education system does not attempt to share our burden.
And to me that is what is wrong with it.
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