Brighton: Son tells of heartbreak of mum's dementia

Gavin Chapman, from Mile Oak in Portslade, helped looked after his mum Shirley Chapman after she was diagnosed with dementia aged 64 just after she retired in around 2012.

The 46-year-old and his two brothers supported Shirley but her worsening condition meant she had to be looked after around the clock.

Shirley went into a specialist home which provided “amazing care” before she died aged 71 in 2019.

Gavin with his mum Shirley (Image: Supplied)

Gavin said he has been inspired by the care home staff who looked after his mum and since then, has raised money for dementia charities with hikes up some of the biggest peaks in the UK.

He has lost more than seven stone in that time and is now looking up at his biggest challenge yet, hiking to Mount Everest’s base camp in Nepal.

Gavin told The Argus: “My mum was diagnosed with dementia at quite an early age, she was only 64. Her and my dad had just retired. Her dementia was frontal lobe dementia which means that you start to lose your thoughts, speech and all sorts of stuff. It was quite hard.

“Me and my two brothers supported them. It started to become very hard. It’s a 24 hour care, she used to turn the gas on and open doors and go out for walks. So we had to look out for her.

Gavin walking on the South Downs near Shoreham Cement Works (Image: Supplied)

“My dad became ill himself with dementia, it was a case that she was a little bit further advanced with what we can support.

“She went into a home, they couldn’t cope with my mum’s dementia. She went into another home which couldn’t really cope, then she went to her last home which was amazing.

“They said she was a ‘walker’, she would walk all day and all night and that was her way of dealing with it.

“It’s hard when your parents don’t recognise you, it was heartbreaking. But you have to think in the back of your mind that they can recognise you and know who you are. You need to hold on to that thought.

Shirley was diagnosed with dementia in around 2012 (Image: Supplied)

“When I would go and see my mum in these homes, it was heartbreaking. These people who look after them, what a job that they do. They don’t get recognised enough. That’s what inspired me.”

Gavin will be landing in Nepal on February 24 next year and starting his hike with a close friend on February 25.

The trek will take 16 days there and back.

Gavin is sponsored by Gas Hero, a Brighton-based company, which has paid for his flights and some of his equipment.

Gavin is raising money for Dementia UK when he takes on his challenge in February next year (Image: Supplied)

So far, he has raised more than £2,500 for Dementia UK. He is hoping to reach £5,000 in total.

He said: “Everest has been my dream ever since I started all this exercise. I started with all the fitness stuff after my mum passed away.

“I’m feeling good, I have been doing a training regime for the last few weeks which involves lifting a tractor tyre.

“I will be joined by a Sherpa and a porter. There will also be other people doing the trek. My close friend is joining me too. We did the National Three Peaks in 24 hours and the Yorkshire Three Peaks in under 12 hours last year. Those were both for charity.

“I lost seven stone in eight months. I did that with swimming and walking. An average day for me walking is 26,000 to 32,000 steps and I swim a mile of a swimming pool.

“My mum used to do a lot of walking and that’s where I get it from.”

For more information, visit Gavin’s Just Giving page.