Sofa, so good...

We had a fabulous, wonderful, perfect family night - poor Lewis has been unwell so I wanted to give him a treat.

He had been asking to watch a film, Snakes On A Plane, but I am quite strict on age restrictions and the rating was too high. However, as he claimed that he had already seen it at his dad's I didn't feel I had a lot to lose.

It was such a calm and relaxed evening, that is after the boys had finished arguing about who was going to sit next to me.

I sat in the middle, arm round each, like a big Buddha, but all-nurturing. We watched our film and Tom got to stretch out on the other sofa comfortably.

Family moments like those are by far my most special and when all is calm and everyone is getting along there can be no better feeling - total contentment.

I also had a lovely, yet fairly sedate evening (for me), out with my friends. Our good friend Mandy had organised a pottery painting session. Not being the most artistic person in the world, I had my apprehensions.

However, it was great. The children came along and Lewis painted me a lovely heart-shaped pot with the words 'I love you mum' on it.

I continue to worry about how Tom and the boys are going to cope financially as our mortgage is up for review and I can see that the pressure is getting to Tom. Going from two salaries down to one was never going to be easy.

Still, I hope that things will right themselves and all will somehow work out. I am a great believer in fate and everything happening for a reason and I guess it's only natural that I don't want to think of them struggling in any way.

On Mother's Day, Lewis woke me excitedly at 7am - thanks Lewis. I think he thought it was Christmas. I was, as always, spoilt. Jacob was especially thoughtful and went out with his own money, with a little bit of help from Tom, to buy me gifts and cards.

He later obviously thought about things and said he'd messed up because he got me chocolates and I couldn't have them because I am diabetic. I did gratefully both receive and eat them.

Mum and David came over and Tom cooked us a lovely roast. Lewis made me a card which he had put a lot of thought into. One of my favourite films is A Man Named Horse with Richard Harris and Lewis had designed a card accordingly.

Lewis's sniffing and snorting hasn't improved so I made him a doctor's appointment. Our GP is in Shoreham so it meant, yet again, calling on my mum for help, which was just as well really as on the morning of his appointment I awoke feeling terrible and unable to get up. Jacob also felt unwell and he too went off sick from school.

To cut a long story short, Lewis ended up going back to school, Jacob went to bed and I got progressively worse. Mum called my GP who came straight over.

My temperature had risen substantially and I was vomiting and having a lot of head pain. The ambulance service was called and arrived within ten minutes, with lights flashing and sirens blaring. It was all very exciting and a new experience for me, but it was frightening for Jacob. He came down to wave me off but looked pale and unsettled as he hugged me goodbye. It wasn't until I had spoken on the phone to him later that he told me he was concerned that all the neighbours would be around and think that I was dead.

Jacob ended up home sick from school all week. It was good to have the time alone with him and I think he really needed it. Sometimes I underestimate how sensitive he is.

For example, with the stormy weather I had made a joke that if a tornado hit he would be the first to go (he's living in our new loft extension). He ended up in our room in the middle of the night, but his concern was not about a tornado but whether my memorial tree, which is planted on The Green, had been blown away.

Lewis has been testing his creativity skills and bravely auditioned for a play. He has never done anything like it before and, although I was not permitted to stay for the audition, I still feel very proud.

If he is chosen I will make a point of staying strong and well enough to see him perform. I get so over-excited about anything to do with the children.

Sometimes, when I find it hard to sleep, I feel like waking the boys just to give them a hug and if I am truly honest, I actually quite like it when they sleep in my room. It makes me feel closer, happier and more secure, even though Lewis seems to have caught on to Tom's delightful habit of snoring.

As a result of my hospital episode, my steroids were substantially increased so I continue to bloat. However, having just seen my oncologist, it is all change again and I am going to try to reduce my steroid intake and following an echo-sound test, all being well, will after all be going back onto intravenous chemo, although this time of a different variety.

People are always, and very considerately, asking me how the boys are - my perception of how they are coping is really very well and that to them we are in a normal(ish) way of life without any hang-ups or major issues and I have to say I could not be more delighted than when I receive notes, certificates and phone calls from school which reinforces how well they are doing. They continue to make me feel very proud. Mind you, I think Jacob's greatest achievement this month, to Tom's despair, is how high he managed to get our phone bill. I am less worried about that sort of thing these days which I am sure is great for the boys, but not so good for good old Tom.

If you would like to send a message to Sandra you can email her at sandra.carey-boggans@ntlworld.com