A VICTIM of child sex abuse has described her ongoing nightmare for decades in the aftermath at the hands of a paedophile.
The Sussex woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, slammed abuser Christopher Brock for manipulating her and stopping her from speaking out.
It was revealed Brock abused three girls through the 1980s and 1990s, including gross indecency with the children as young as six.
At Brighton Crown Court the 67-year-old was jailed for a total of 13 years after a jury found him guilty of 20 counts of abuse.
On many of the counts, multiple incidents were included in the charge, and the worst included sexual abuse which would now be described as child rape.
Two women gave statements detailing their ongoing feelings after the abuse, with one blaming herself for the later abuse Brock inflicted.
She said: “As a child I tried twice to speak up to tell people what you were doing, twice I was ignored. My biggest regret is not being more forceful and not making people listen.
“I did not have the confidence, I was so ashamed. Paedophiles manipulate victims to prevent them speaking up. You did this to me. You made me feel sorry for you as if you were the victim, as if I were to blame as I grew up.
“You made me feel ashamed of my body and the things I had done, so I couldn’t speak up or seek help.
“Had I been stronger I might have prevented the same trauma happening to others. That is the shame and regret I will have to carry for the rest of my life.”
The court heard how it has affected the woman’s ongoing personal relationships and professional life.
In her powerful statement she said: “I can still hear the things you used to say to me, it still affects my self-confidence.
“It was an exploitation of my trust as a child, and it continues to impact my personal and professional life in ways I have yet to reconcile.
“I carried on holding secrets for 30 years. You robbed me of my childhood.
I have had recurring nightmares, waking up in a panic, unable to breath. Memories are triggered by the touch, I experience a sudden surge of panic and emotions and trauma.
“My ex-husband used to say I was damaged goods. He was right. I have been damaged by you and your actions.
“When I see news stories, it serves as a reminder of what you did, it fills me with anger.
I hope you can find the compassion and the courage to finally admit your crimes and seek the help you need.”
Another victim said: “While I cannot condone his (Brock’s) behaviour, I believe for someone to be able to commit those acts there must be some sort of underlying mental health concern.
“I understand the need for punishment, but I would like part of it to include specialist treatment or therapy. I think this is needed for the prevention of future incidents.
“I don’t believe someone will change simply by locking them up. Change is a process and can prevent reoffending.”
Brock, of Coolham Road, Thakeham, Pulborough, was jailed for thirteen years and will be caged for at least two thirds of the sentence before he can be considered for parole.
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