PubSpy tries La Choza's new takeaway menu

Though, as we continued chatting on our stroll home from La Choza in Brighton’s Gloucester Road, she also professed an undying love for Italian, Indian, American and English cuisine among others.

By the time we reached our front door, we had firmly established that she was actually just a rather big fan of food.

Now, this lockdown malarkey put a rather sudden stop to our occasional date nights, when we would venture out into the pubs and bars of Brighton and Hove for an evening of revelry.

So I could not blame Mrs PubSpy for wanting to make the most of a takeaway meal for two in our front room.

When we returned home, she insisted on popping an ambient soundtrack of smooth jazz on the stereo and placing a series of tealights around the room before we settled down to eat.

By the time she was finished, I found myself sitting inside a nightmare-inducing hybrid of a princess-themed birthday party and The Fast Show’s famed Jazz Club.

“How does it look?” she asked.

“Nice,” I replied.

We emptied the bag on to the table and a plethora of treats lay before us. A warm tin foil cocoon contained a burrito the size of my forearm, bursting with plant-based chorizo chipotle.

In another cardboard box, a tower of sweet potato and feta-filled quesadillas was sandwiched next to a street food salad packed with crunchy greens and crispy onions.

“I didn’t know salad could be this enjoyable,” Mrs PubSpy quipped in between hearty mouthfuls.

It must be added, however, that she has used her lockdown productively and taken up running – currently working her way up to a new 5km personal best.

I, meanwhile, have also achieved great things during these isolated times.

I have devoted my days to the gastronomic arts and am currently well on my way towards needing a pair of trousers with a larger waistband.

The cherry on top of this veritable Mexican feast was a generous helping of nachos, topped with a mouth-watering heap of ingredients including melted cheese, sour cream and beans.

We were also given a choice of sauces. One container was filled with a hummus with a peppy but manageable kick which perfectly complemented the street salad.

The other was a vibrant shade of orange and had an ominous triple X label etched on the side in permanent marker.

As firm supporters of the “don’t knock it til you’ve tried it” approach to eating but bona fide wimps when it came to spicy food, we both dunked a tentative tendril of cabbage into the pot and took a bite.

“Nothing to be afraid of,” a cocky (and relieved) Mrs PubSpy snorted.

I nodded in agreement, before a tingling sensation spread across my tongue.

I glanced over at my partner in crime, whose expression of (premature) overconfidence had been replaced by one of sheer fear.

Both of our mouths fell open into an involuntary “O” as we desperately reached for the nearest liquid. The sauce was a slow burner, in every sense of the words.

Mrs PubSpy grasped a bottle of Cerveza Pacifico Clara while I quickly popped the top off a Dos Equis XX Lager Especial – beers La Choza had kindly thrown in to the bundle deal.

Both were delicious, light and refreshing with what I believed to be a hint of tequila – though it was hard to confirm this as the labels were written in Spanish. Having reached a rudimentary level of understanding of the language during my teens, I scanned the side of both bottles. After a couple of moments, I sat back satisfied that both were, indeed, beers, and at no point had the brewer of either beverage visited a library or gone to the park to play football with their brother.

But our generous benefactors were not done there.

To finish, we had been given two shots of Herradura – a rather potent smelling tequila.

Unfortunately, we only owned a small number of shot glasses – two peculiar little objects with glass breasts moulded on to the side, next to a red heart and the word Salou. A gift from a “friend”.

This aside, what really must be admired here is that La Choza, at an immensely turbulent and challenging time for the hospitality industry which has brought me so much unbridled joy over the years, provided us with an evening of distraction from this god-forsaken virus.

We ate good food, drank fantastic drinks and, for a moment, forgot about all other worries.

For that, I thank you.

La Choza

Gloucester Road

Brighton

Décor

Two stars

Rather two many tealights for my liking

Food and drink

Five stars

Nothing short of sublime

Price

Four stars

Affordable with an NHS discount also available

Atmosphere

Three stars

I’m not a big jazz man, personally

Staff

Five stars

Socially distanced and smiling when we visited