SO AMERICA has the Trump card when it comes to making politics as politically incorrect as possible.

I’m not getting into it. There are far more newsworthy stories to comment on than the tawdry past of an orange narcissist with hair the equivalent of a push-up bra. Let’s just say sex sells, in any form.

It makes me jolly pleased to be British. Actually, no I’m not. Not since we left the EU and the fracas over the availability of Marmite and PG Tips from Tesco. The greedy market-eater has fallen out with Unilever since it raised charges by 10 per cent after the fall in sterling against the euro and dollar.

Brexit voters were in danger of stealing my breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Marmite and teabags are our country’s backbone. They saw us through a war. they were under threat of being stolen by a Dutch company trying to price them out of our market. Ironically, Tesco’s CEO Daniel Lewis spent his former career working for Unilever.

Sadly it’s not given him any “uni-leverage”. I’ve had to resort to mild British thrills to stay happy, like being asked directions by a tourist and actually knowing how to get there or remembering whether it’s bin day or recycling day.

Other British things that please me include driving down the twisty ramps in multi-storey car parks, the first day of the year when my big coat doesn’t feel too hot and mixing different types of cereal together (I suppose I should make the most of having cereal in the house before that is too expensive). Am I alone in this?

In other British news our children are being offered the flu spray in school. Many parents are up in arms at the idea and are asking for authorised days off while the “shedding” stops (apparently, the nose mist can cause “shedding” for days after,and lives in children’s nostrils for 28 days, meaning even those who did not ask for it might receive it). I won’t be giving my girls the spray. We never had flu sprays when we were kids, they have never caught the flu before, even when I have had it and I’m not sure what else will be pumped up their noses along with five strands of live flu viruses. Childhood deaths in England from flu are two in one million according to The Lancet, the world’s most reputable medical journal.

I am not sure why it is being given at school anyway. It is not a mandatory vaccination but you have to opt out if you don’t want your child to have it.

Tom Jefferson, author of a Cochrane Review on vaccines for preventing influenza in healthy children said: “Flu vaccinations are more about marketing and less about science.”

Jefferson has also claimed the evidence of harm may be under-reported because of a lack of “standardised safety-outcome” data.

Basically, there is no conclusive evidence about the effectiveness of the flu jab and studies supporting the “public health initiative” are not good enough.

The spray was first introduced in 2013 but has since been recommended not to be used due to less than a three per cent success rate. Personally, I wonder whether the jab is more about pharmaceutical companies making money than anything else.

The Argus: Brighton Zip

Planning permission for the Brighton zip wire was granted this week, despite nine letters of opposition, including:

Concerns about objects falling on the people below (coins, mobile phones, wallets... most people would see them as gifts from heaven)

Motorists being distracted (we live in a city where people walk about in mankinis or dressed as giant babies, in the middle of winter. I think we’re used to distraction by now).

Others worried about people screaming too loudly (I’m all for it, the screams may scare away the seagulls) and the sea view being obscured… by a wire.

The zip wire is due to be sited where the Brighton Wheel was, which was a lot bigger than a wire.

The crazy golf people are mad about it apparently but I don’t know whether they mean it in a good or bad way.

There were 70 letters of support though so it’s going ahead but no stag or hen parties will be allowed on it.

How are they going to stop them?

Admittedly, 12 men all dressed as garden gnomes with Stu’s Stag Do written on the backs of their shirts, or middle-aged women all dressed as zombie cheerleaders might make it obvious what they are up to but they could get crafty.

I’m talking about the old “fancy meeting you here” type of scenario, costumes hidden in backpacks for later on and no talk of weddings.

I suppose they could just put a blockade at the bottom of West Street.