Somewhere over the rainbow we might see unity

If there’s one thing we’re all obsessed with it’s what’s going on in the great expanse of bluey grey mass above our heads.

Come rain or shine, you know that in bus stops, coffee shops and offices it’s a topic of conversation that everyone has a view on.

Even those in the sheltered Westminster bubble like to get in on the act – as we saw this week when one member of Jeremy Corbyn’s shadow cabinet called for a rainbow coalition of the left to form the next government.

The suggestion from Norwich South MP Clive Lewis is not a new one.

But what’s surprising is how badly it’s gone down with those‎ members in the party he represents.

For those who don’t know Mr Lewis – and most of you won’t – he’s a former Territorial Army soldier and journalist who boasts to be a proud socialist.

He also said the only way he would not win his seat in 2015 was if he was caught with his pants down behind a goat with Ed Miliband at the other end.

But hey, we should forgive him for that - after all even former PM David Cameron liked the odd pork scratching....

I digress. Within his piece for a left-leaning national newspaper, Mr Lewis said he wanted to be in government with Brighton Pavilion MP Caroline Lucas.

On paper, it doesn’t seem like a bad idea.

After all, Labour has lost a lot of ground to other left-leaning parties in recent years, namely the SDP in Scotland, Plaid Cymru in Wales and, in Brighton Pavilion, to the Greens.

What the shadow defence minister was trying to say was that all of these parties have a common purpose – they claim to be “progressives”, which is a woolly term to say that they believe in reform, in changing things for the better rather than turning back the clock. They also all have a severe dislike of the Conservatives.

If you add all their parliamentary seats together then they come close to matching the Tories in terms of numbers. After another election, who knows, they may even have a majority. But such a suggestion of a rainbow coalition implies that all is well in the world of left-leaning politics.

The reality is the other parties are only on an upward curve because of the demise of Labour.

The rise of the SNP, Plaid Cymru’s success and the Green breakthrough has all seen the red flag torn down by parties formed of former comrades.

Mr Lewis will know that himself, representing Norwich where the Greens have made inroads at his own party’s expense.

Not many Labour members in Brighton and Hove need reminding that the Caroline Lucas who one of their frontbenchers would like in government is the same Caroline Lucas who won the seat of Brighton Pavilion for the Greens FROM Labour.

Those that stuck with the red rose when many deserted to join the young, hip, Iraq War-hating alternative certainly have very strong views on their environmentally conscious left-leaning rivals.  Try asking Purna Sen or Nancy Platts, both of whom saw their prospective parliamentary careers ended by Caroline, if they would want to cosy up to the Greens.

Such a suggestion is like asking seagulls to share a plate of chips.

The irony is for many of the Labour members that stuck with the party through thick and thin (that’s Blair and Brown in case you were wondering) they are now seeing themselves pushed out of their own party by some of those who tried to defeat them at the ballot box.

Some of those who flocked to the Greens when the young upstarts were on the rise are now retreating back as Comrade Corbyn leads the Momentum revolution while waving the red flag aloft.

On paper the local party looks in good health, with more than 6,000 members making the Brighton Hove and District Labour Party among the biggest in the country. But the last AGM ended in a farce – with the party’s national governing body stepping in to suspend the whole organisation after allegations of spitting, racism and tempers flaring all round.

If that’s how comrades signed up to the same party treat each other, imagine what it would be like working with foes from a host of other tribes.

For that reason alone I think such an idea of a rainbow coalition of left-leaning politicians will remain purely blue-sky thinking...

Mum Tina Banks wags her finger at the toy parrot she bought at the 99p shop as it starts swearing. Picture: Liz Finlayson Mum Tina Banks wags her finger at the toy parrot she bought at the 99p shop as it starts swearing.  Picture: Liz Finlayson

From blue sky thinking to turning the air blue, is it me or has the amount of cursing in public dramatically increased recently?

And eff and jeff used to be reserved for those moments of sheer joy or sheer shock (or whenever my dad did any form of DIY...). But it seems that society’s standards for when swearing is appropriate have dropped.

In the last week, every time I’ve left the house I’ve heard someone drop an F bomb or an S grenade.

Maybe I’m being a little bit of a prude but surely there’s a time and a place for four-letter tirades – and that is not walking down a town high street in the middle of the summer holidays.