I am trying to get back some independence

My oncologist wanted me admitted straight away to be "drained off" due to the enormous size of my stomach.

I felt apprehensive, as it sounds so horrid. Mind you, I think some of my apprehension may have been linked to my fear that I would be told it wasn't fluid but fat from over-indulgence.

Oh well, another new experience.

I hoped that maybe I could go in as a size 18 and leave as a size ten but unfortunately it didn't happen that way.

Even after three attempts there were no fluids so the doctor advised that I needed a scan.

Things weren't looking too good.

It transpires that my left kidney and liver are slightly enlarged. I am having a few problems, mostly pain associated with my bone cancer.

My oncologist didn't seem to be overly concerned and advised that the swelling was quite likely to do with my treatments.

I had a fitting for a wig and the lady was lovely, although I must be honest, I don't feel comfortable wearing it - it doesn't feel like me.

The stubble on my head is hilarious.

It is very patchy and blonde with a dark patch on the back. I've been likened to a skunk by my friends but I would rather be associated with a badger.

I am trying to be a bit more active, although it is still not coming easily because I tire easily and feel quite sluggish.

We did, however, manage one of the best days ever when my lovely and resourceful friend Emily arranged a day out on her friend Terry's yacht.

It seemed like everything just came together. The Pink Rolls- Royce Company offered to take us out in the Rolls-Royce and drove my whole family from our home in Southwick to Brighton Marina to the boat. Donna and Eammon from the company have recently lost someone very close to them to cancer and so it is a subject close to their hearts.

Eammon's brother Lou had driven the limousine for our wedding day and sadly died in November.

They had also been involved in a fund-raising event for Martlet's Hospice which involved chauffeuring Jimmy Savile around London and, to cut a long story short, they thought of me and got me an autographed Jim'll Fix It badge which said "To Super Sandra from Jimmy Savile".

There we met the photographer from The Argus and, hilariously, lots of tourists started taking pictures of us as well as him because we must have looked famous.

Emily and Terry had really gone out of their way to make us feel special. We anchored at Beachy Head where my dream became a reality. We ate strawberries and cream and drank champagne in the sunshine on the yacht. It was one of the things I really wanted to do.

The boys fished and Lewis bravely dangled his feet in the water. On our way back from Eastbourne harbour we watched the sun go down and it was gone midnight by the time we got home. I would usually be worrying about the boys skipping their all-important sleep but it all just felt so perfect.

On the home front, our room in the roof is almost complete. Tom now has lots of decorating to do, which isn't easy for him to fit in with such a demanding wife who wants to live every opportunity.

Jacob has been away in France with his school. I missed him so much and he was so considerate, presenting us with all these gifts on his return.

Lewis was awarded child of the week in his class at school, which is lovely, and I am trying to get my act together and write individual letters to go with the content of the boys' memory boxes.

I find it very difficult. It is such a deep and personal thing. I really need time and to be alone to do it, which is quite rare. I also have so many special memories of two very special individuals.

It matters so much to me that when they think of me after I have died they know how much their mum truly loved them from the deepest depths of her heart.

I could not possibly be more proud of them even when they play me up and tell me I am too strict. On Bank Holiday weekend Jacob stayed with friends while Lewis and I benefited from Emily's thoughtfulness and kindness again. This time we were up, up and away with Dean in his helicopter.

It was fabulous.

As if all that was not enough, we have also had a terrific time at a 12th birthday party, watched Lewis's team win a football tournament and went to the fair and the pier, where Lewis wanted to stay for ever.

As ever I have had far too many fattening lunches and meals out.

My back is agony. I have just started my rest period of my fourth chemo cycle. I have an appointment for radiotherapy on my arm and I am checked out regularly with appointments at the hospital.

My mum comes over most weekdays and takes the boys to school, waits on me hand foot and cooks our evening meals, although I am trying to get back some independence.

I have regular calls, chats and appointments with care nurses, my GP, district nurse, oncologist, my healer and continue my visits to my friend Rinty for beauty treatments - sadly, I think she's fighting a losing battle there.

I am feeling well cared for in the knowledge that there are plenty of friends and medical staff looking out for me.