Burly builder Colin Jones is so sick of divebombing seagulls he's hired a £6-an-hour bodyguard to fend them off with a kitchen broom.
Colin put a job advert up in Asda after he was repeatedly injured by the birds while working on rooftop projects in Brighton.
The advert invited applications from "reliable and vigilant" jobseekers with a "love" for the outdoors and an "understanding of seagull related problems".
He also listed a string of desirable qualities including "good eyesight", "fast feet" and "an excellent sense of humour" adding: "Any martial arts skills would be an advantage."
Colin, 38, was amazed when he received more than 20 phone calls enquiring about the position of "Building Site Aerial Operations Supervisor".
And after interviewing candidates the 15-stone labourer recruited Steve Jackow as his right hand man.
Steve - now nicknamed Steven Seagull after the movie star kung fu expert - spends his days frightening the birds away by waving the broom into the air.
He even wears a fluorescent yellow bib to scare off the airborne predators and has a referee's whistle for persistent offenders.
Colin said: "I don't know what it is about me they don't like but I've got cuts and bruises all over my face and body.
"I started off by wearing a hard hat but it kept getting knocked off - then I had my sandwich box stolen."
Colin said the last straw came when he needed two stitches in a cut to the back of his head after he was targeted while loading roof timber onto a pulley.
"I felt like I'd been shot in the skull and when I when I touched my hair it was streaming with blood. I looked around and I was surrounded in a cloud of feathers - that was it, something had to be done."
Colin looked at the payroll and decided he could just about afford to fork out the minimum wage for a personal bodyguard.
"I went into Asda and filled in a card for a job advert. I think the staff thought I was mad but this was a serious matter."
Steve said: "When I saw the advert I wasn't quite sure what the job was all about, but I was desperate for the cash.
"I've got a brown belt in karate and I decided to give the mobile number a call. When he told me what the job was I thought he was taking the mickey but then he showed me some of his scars. This bloke was deadly serious."
Steve said he now works an average of three days a week and Colin has been spared any further attacks.
"I try not to clobber the birds, just scare them away. They can be quite vicious though and you really need eyes in the back of your head.
"My arms ache at the end of the day and I almost dislocated my shoulder once with a life-saving swipe just as a rather large gull was homing in Barry.
"It's an unusual job but I've done a lot worse and you get great views of Brighton."
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