I’M not a fan of games.

And I’m especially not a fan of one game in particular.

When it gets mentioned I secretly shudder inside, praying that I’ll never have to waste six hours of my life rolling a dice, pretending to have fun before it ends in a shouting match of some form.

The game, of course, is Monopoly.

Now in theory there should be nothing better than spending time with friends and family while trying to outwit them in a relaxing sort of way.

But there’s always someone who takes it too far, someone who forgets why they are there in the first place and makes it miserable for everyone else.

Me?

I normally start off on the wrong foot – literally.

Someone always gets the best characters before me – meaning instead of the dog or the car, I normally end up with the boot.

Or worse, the button (not an official piece but a replacement after someone lost the boat five Christmases ago...) And, despite having good intentions, as soon as someone else buys my favourite spot (Trafalgar Square, in case you were wondering) I start to get agitated.

When Oxford Street goes, that’s it, I don’t want to play anymore.

The only thing is, it’s extremely difficult to try and lose in Monopoly – even if you’ve gone past caring.

The board game is not the only monopoly in town.

If you’ve read recent reports in The Argus then you’ll be well aware of Southern Water.

Here is a company that we all have a vested interest in.

After all, the water that you drink, that heats your home, that you bathe in – all of it is the responsibility of this firm.

The only problem is, unlike our local councils, hospitals and emergency services – all essential public services – this one does not have to listen to us at all. That’s because ever since 1989 it’s been a private company meaning it answers to one group alone: its shareholders.

And unlike energy providers where you have a choice – when it comes to water, Southern rules the roost.

There is no competitor, which means they can do basically anything, and the only thing you as a consumer can do is complain to a watchdog, while still being forced to pay hundreds of pounds a year to keep the water flowing.

If you don’t like what they are doing, well why should those at the top care? Even if the chief executive Matthew Wright fails to hit his targets, he still takes home more than £350,000 – that’s 14 times the average salary in the UK.

And if he does well, that’s potentially another £350,000 as a bonus, thank you very much.

This year was extra special though, as Mr Wright also bagged a further £1.25 million for meeting long-term objectives over the last four years.

Now there’s a bonus even Brucie would be proud of.

With pension payments on top, this means Mr Wright walked away with nearly £2 million last year.

And all at our expense.

The firm as a whole claims to be transparent – but transparency comes in the form of a 170-page annual report, which is frankly as clear as mud.

And of six key aims, in two of these – removing waste water effectively and looking after the environment – they have failed.

Just a few weeks ago, the company was found guilty of polluting an 11-mile stretch of coastline around Lancing. The consequence could be a fine of hundreds of thousands of pounds.

But when the company as a whole turned over £800 million last year and the operating profit was £325 million, any fine will be a drop in the ocean.

Perhaps even worse is that even though all the evidence pointed towards Southern being responsible, the company insisted on fighting it in the courts, even though that would cost the Environment Agency and the taxpayer yet further.

But it appears arrogance and bully-boy tactics are fine, as long as the firm is making money and the shareholders are happy.

And if another minor disaster happens? Well, expect the same tactics.

Or if it’s really bad and huge sums have to be found to mop up the mess, then expect a letter through your door saying that regrettably tariffs will have to be increased.

Never mind that this could be to the detriment of our incredible coastal environment.

After all, the one thing that will never change with private monopolies is that those at the top will continue to get richer.

To them this monopoly is just a game, where even those who are not very good at it come out finely rewarded.

And it’s we, the wider public, who are the losers.