Denise van Outen has made quite a transition over the last 20 years. She talks to Gabrielle Fagan about motherhood, how key ex-husband Lee Mead is in her life and about her new romance.
Testing times can bring out the best in people and it seems Denise van Outen has come through the past 18 months since her marriage break-up with flying colours.
Looking enviably slim and glamorous – and exuding an almost tangible air of contentment – she describes herself as “healthy, happy and fulfilled” while she opens up about the past ups and downs of her personal life, turning 40, and recently finding new romance.
She doesn’t shy away from talking about her “amicable” split from her actor husband, Lee Mead, 33, the father of her four-year-old-daughter, Betsy.
They met in 2007 when Lee, was competing and Denise was judging on the TV talent show, Any Dream Will Do. The couple married in 2009 and had Betsy a year later, but in 2013 they announced their marriage was over, citing the toll their busy work schedules had taken on their relationship.
“It’s been a very lucky break-up story really because we’ve remained really good friends,” says van Outen.
She and her ex-husband’s support for one another enables them to successfully balance parenting and work – Mead’s appearing in BBC’s Casualty and she’s a weekend radio presenter on Magic with a forthcoming second tour of the one-woman play, Some Girl I Used To Know.
“I don’t even feel like a single mother because I have so much support from Lee and both our families. For instance, we spent Christmas Day together with his family and mine, just like we did the previous year. It was lovely and great for Betsy.
“We don’t have any set rules for when Lee sees her or I have her. Filming for Casualty is in Cardiff so Betsy’s made loads of set visits and knows all the names of the cast, which is very sweet.
“Our set-up is very relaxed and amicable and we just agree everything between ourselves. It wouldn’t work for everyone, but it works for us. Lee’s a fantastic father and I’m proud of the way we’ve coped with it and made Betsy the priority."
While her play, which she wrote, focuses on women “who for various reasons – their career, not finding the right man, or coming out of a marriage – find themselves single at 40”, her own status currently is very much attached.
For the past seven months, she’s been dating stockbroker Eddie Boxshall, although she’s coy about any plans for the future.
“It’s nice getting to know someone. It’s very relaxed and not really serious. It’s just nice and good to be back on the dating scene,” she says.
“Thankfully, I don’t think there’s really any interest nowadays in whoever I date. At one stage, the media seemed obsessed with me meeting someone and having a kid and literally partnered me off with everyone I was seen with! I’m glad that’s over and my private life goes pretty well unnoticed.”
While that may be an optimistic assessment, it’s undoubtedly true that in her 20s van Outen’s life was only too public.
She dated Jay Kay, lead singer of Jamiroquai, for three years until 2001 and was included in the high-profile posse of women, including Zoe Ball and Sara Cox, dubbed ‘ladettes’ because of their high jinks and partying.
Everything changed for her, when she became a mother aged 35. “I ran myself into the ground in my 20s having fun and living life to the full, but becoming a mother changed my priorities,” she admits.
“I’m totally happy to be a part-time working woman and mum, whereas if I’d been a young mum, it might have been harder to make the sacrifices necessary if you’re a parent.
“I don’t fill my diary like I used to – I only accept things I really want to do – because I like to be around for my daughter and be on the school run as much as I can.”
She’s philosophical about not having had more children. “Of course, if I’d settled down younger, I probably would have had more, but that’s just the way it worked out. I hadn’t met the right person and my career took over my life during those earlier years,” she admits.
“I don’t have any sadness about it because you are a mum whether you have one child or 10. I have a wonderful little girl, who’s incredibly outgoing and has lots of friends, and is the light of my life.”
Despite the fact she’s in a notoriously age-conscious industry, she’s equally sanguine about marking that milestone 40th birthday last May.
“I think 40’s a nice age actually because you know yourself and where you are in your life. I didn’t have any problem with it, especially as I’m probably fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s,” she says..
Last year she cycled 180 miles through India and previously she’s climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and trekked across the Great Wall of China.
On her return she will act as a mentor to six dieters aiming to lose weight using diet aid, XLS Medical and will host an online documentary charting their progress.
“I’m really looking forward to being a friend and support these women, because I know support’s essential throughout life. I’m fortunate that when I’ve gone through challenges, I’ve always had really good people, family and friends, around me who’ve pulled me through the tricky times.”
- To enter the XLS-Medical documentary, make a real life change in 2015 and star in the next TV advert, visit www.xlsmedical.co.uk
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here