Thank you for the centre spread on school bullying, following a Brighton and Hove City Council scrutiny panel (The Argus, September 17).
It reported that one psychological expert compared bullying to domestic violence and said that working with the perpetrators is as important as with the victims.
In my own limited experience that is true. There are charities to help victims of bullying but what provision is there to prevent bullies from bullying again? Little that I can see.
In schools’ anti-bullying policies, I understand that the first step is often to bring the bully and the victim together to talk things through. But is a beaten woman brought face to face with her abuser after she makes a complaint? Of course not. She is protected from him. The same should apply here.
Perhaps the bullying of children should be recategorised as “child abuse by children”.
The response should be the same as for other forms of abuse: immediately remove the alleged bully and then listen carefully to the youngster who made the allegation – remembering that the purpose of bullying is intimidation. It destroys a victim’s confidence. See what the alleged bully has to say after that.
Victims are traumatised, like those of other forms of abuse. They feel ashamed. Sometimes they do not tell anyone what happened for decades, if at all. The Argus has even reported on bullied children who took their own lives.
But it appears that, in response, little has changed since I was at school in the 1960s.
All too often the victim is eventually moved to another school, and in that case the bully has won. They will feel confirmed in their behaviour and may turn into bullies for life.
It is said that many bullies are psychologically damaged. This may be so – that calls for assistance.
But they also have to bear responsibility. If anyone leaves the scene permanently, it should always be the bully.
It is high time that policy for bullying was brought into line with other kinds of abuse: protect and listen to the victims above all, and lay responsibility firmly at the culprits’ door, children though they are.
Tom Lines, St Peter’s Place, Brighton
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