“I once played a corporate thing for a load of bar managers in Bedford,” says Londoner Milton Jones, doyen of Radio 4 and ex-Perrier comedy champ. “There was free food and drink laid on for them but I told them it was a bit odd because getting free food and drink is what they do every night of the week.

“A lady screamed out ‘We never get anything free!’, so I politely asked her why they were all so fat. Turns out she was enormous. She burst into tears and waddled out. Two seconds later the rest of them joined in and chased me out threatening to do me.”

Nothing so dangerous as a corporate crowd scorned, but as tragic first nights go it’s hardly up there with Medusa’s maiden voyage.

Jones is telling me the tale because he is in Brighton to headline the opening night of Wisecrackers – a new event at Brighton Marina put together by the team behind Knock Knock, whose last residency was at the Caroline Of Brunswick.

He says first nights are the best time to go because you never know what’s going to happen and the element of surprise has everyone on edge. But don’t expect the man to clear the room with opening night gaffs. The Bedford episode is apt because Jones is a master of the surrealist one-liner, and his pragmatic, uncomplicated manner mirrors his precise use of language.

“1945. Warsaw pact. Peterborough empty,” a bona fide classic in a sequence reciting made-up events from history during his Caught In The Rabbit’s Headlights tour, the last time he was on the road.

That was spring, and Jones has spent the rest of the year writing a novel about a series of road trips about a comedian beginning his career.

“We are more paid drivers than comedians, really,” says Jones. “A lot of the journeys (and obviously the book) are based on my experiences, but it’s only a third me. The rest is a third other people, a third made up.”

Rewriting history is something Jones finds particularly fruitful. The Very World Of Milton Jones had him selling watchtowers in Arthurian England, whereas Another Case Of Milton Jones, which ran for six seasons, saw Jones playing out his fantasies for other careers.

His own history is rather more obscure. Is that why he is always imagining other scenarios?

“I don’t suppose there’s much point in telling people I live in a detached house in Twickenham with my wife and three kids. I had a pleasant upbringing and I’ve always known I wanted to be on stage. It’s just not very interesting.

“I started as an actor, but I didn’t get much work. I found it was easier and quicker to get stage time doing stand-up. It takes a long time to develop as an actor. With comedy, you only have to worry about yourself. You have 30 minutes to get it right.

If you don’t, then you just try again tomorrow.

“But I’m not worried about that here. It’s a great bill with myself and Richard Herring, who’s always trying new things and is not just an ABC comedian. It should be a great show.”

* 8pm, £15/£13, to buy tickets visit www.wisecrackers.info