Hard as it is to believe, chain-smoking comedian and reformed alcoholic Arthur Smith was once a cross country runner, who represented London schools.

On one occasion he scrambled through mud and rain against Brighton’s favourite sporting son, Steve Ovett.

The occasion was the English schoolboys cross country run of 1972. The result was unsurprising.

“He came second,” reveals Smith. “I was 367th.”

Nowadays, the self-professed Night Mayor Of Balham with the gravelly voice prefers to ramble his way through the country.

“I’m a big walker. I ramble. I cycle a bit. I go on walking holidays. I love walking in the country. That’s my thing nowadays.”

As for his other sporting loves – football and cricket – he has one or two games a season playing the latter.

“As my team get older and more hopeless, I get less inclined to be ringing round replacing people.”

The Edinburgh Fringe and BBC Radio 4 regular, who hosts The Comedy Club on Fridays and Saturdays, prefers to keep his sledging comic rather than intimidatory. “I sometimes snore loudly or do a big fart as the bowler is running.”

Surely he gets it bad when the opposition see a TV star walking out to bat?

“I get the usual, ‘Taxi for Mr Smith’. There was a man who said, ‘What a waste of life that is’, as I walked out. That was really rude. If you do stand-up comedy, people shout at you and it’s part of the gig but that was a bit much.”

The team’s annual award ceremony provides more laughs.

“We have an award for best catch while smoking and biggest kit bag.”

Smith has been taking stock over the past few years and charted the musings in his autobiography: My Name Is Daphne Fairfax. The title refers to his regular opening line: “Hello, my name is Arthur Smith, unless there’s anyone here from Streatham tax office, in which case my name’s Daphne Fairfax.”

A big regret in life has been not writing enough, so he enjoyed writing prose at length. Despite having penned stage play An Evening With Gary Lineker and rom-com My Summer With Des, writing his autobiography posed a new challenge.

“Writing the book was an artistic challenge but also it has to be a story. You have to marshal things into narratives and shapes, which sort of slightly makes you reconsider who you are.

“And the more you think about incidents from your past, the more facts you remember.”

It’s strange to hear a stand-up saying he took a few things out to avoid putting noses out of joint, but he did.

“I wanted to be honest but also to be discreet. Someone in there married someone famous and he didn’t want to know my amusing things about her.” He’s currently dividing his touring between performing At Your Service and Arthur Smith Sings Leonard Cohen (Volume Too).

“The title sounds like the grimmest evening’s entertainment imaginable. But then I always did like Leonard Cohen’s songs and I found I could put them across.

“It’s a good excuse for me to sing on stage, not that I’m much of a singer, but then nor was Leonard.”

Smith is preparing to interview Neil Innes when we chat. He is plodding around outside Broadcasting House. Some drilling starts up next to The One Show studio.

Out comes the Grumpy Old Man (Smith was a regular on the BBC comedy programme).

How does being paid to be grumpy affect one’s grumpiness, I wonder?

“It means you are less grumpy. Being grumpy is a mode you can get into, which I am quite able to do. I’m not essentially a miserable sod but I can be. It’s more irritation of the world sneaking up on you when you’re not looking.”

  • Arthur Smith At Your Service, Ropetackle Centre, High Street, Shoreham, Saturday, March 22
  • Starts 8pm, tickets £15. Call 01273 464440