“Statistics don’t tell the story, people do.” We were promised “captivating true stories from people who choose to live and work on this marvellously mongrel island”, “choose” being the operative word.

Our hosts’ opening jibes at Nigel Farage failed to rouse any rabble and a call for “immigrants” to identify themselves revealed a couple of Californians on holiday, a French woman and a small group of women from Hong Kong.

Running the show were Sajeela Kershi, who moved here from Pakistan as a child many years ago, and Sameena Zehra, who was born in this country but stayed with her grandmother in Kashmir growing up and visited Mumbai when it was Bombay.

Both told amusing anecdotes but didn’t startle. Their double-act needs practice, on timing especially.

Guest Tez Ilyas was born British and resorted to telling random animal stories from childhood visits to Pakistan, which achieved only wry smiles. Giada Garofalo came over from Sicily 12 years ago and found her Italian identity as a result. She is a natural storyteller and a few surprises in her repertoire lifted the show.

Overall though, it all fell a bit flat. It showed promise, but needs practice.