This week was Jacob's birthday sleepover. We had seven boys here.

They had a really good Easter egg hunt by torchlight, played pass the parcel, decorated cakes and played football. They had lots of fun and stayed awake most of the night.

They are a really nice group of lads and I am delighted that my children have chosen their friends so wisely. It makes me so happy to see the children happy. I want them to have memories to treasure for ever.

I had a wonderful childhood but my memories of being Jacob's and Lewis's ages are not specifically strong. I can't help feeling really sad that I will eventually become a vague memory. But I hope they will always remember how much I loved them and their memories will be happy ones.

Tom and I watched a scary movie called SAW 2. It was quite funny because the psychopath in it is terminally ill with cancer and tries to kill everyone who doesn't appreciate their life. It seems that cancer is everywhere.

I admit being terminally ill does make you appreciate everything and everyone but I don't think I would quite take it to that extent!

I tidied the house and got it back to normal after the boys left. I feel very content that I am where I want to be, it's a good feeling. We have applied to do a loft conversion and I really hope I am here long enough to see it completed.

Some people may think I am mad but I promised Jacob he could have a loft room from the day we moved in.

In the morning I took Jacob, Lewis and their cousin Sam over to my sister's for a swim and then a dip in the hot tub. I managed to resist the temptation and will wait until the weather warms up a bit.

I don't want the school holidays to end and nor do I feel ready to go back to work. It's a bit like a feeling of panic that my time with the children is running out.

I was cuddling Lewis and I said to him, "this is so nice I don't feel like I ever want to let you go" and he said flippantly, "OK, I'll come with you when you die then". I managed to hold back the tears but I held him even closer and savoured that hug even more.

When I think about Saturday, I think how normal it all seems. I cycled into Brighton to get my nails done, Tom took my car into the garage and the boys played on the PlayStation and watched TV. Then I cooked us a family meal.

My dad and his wife came over to give the boys Easter eggs and they had a card and a gift for Jacob. That evening we watched TV and Tom put the finishing touches to his jigsaw puzzle!

I am so content with my life. I have a perfect family, a beautiful home and car and a good job which has always given me great satisfaction and a good sense of achievement. I have wonderful friends, enjoy my life and think I am very happy in my world.

I know I am dying and my physical fitness has deteriorated terribly, yet I really don't feel like I am dying and I guess that's what keeps me going. I am not totally deluded. I know I have terrible pain to face but I don't need to face it until the time comes.

The 16th was Jacob's birthday. It feels somehow significant he is 11. I am fairly sure this is the first Easter Sunday his birthday has fallen on since his birth. I will never forget the overwhelming feeling of love when I held Jacob in my arms for the first time. It remains the most precious moment of my life. Naturally my love for Lewis is of equal strength but with Jacob it was the first time.

Lewis was particularly adorable because he got up early, deactivated the alarm and made Jacob breakfast in bed! He took him up a bowl of Coco Pops.

Jacob had a lovely birthday. We went to my mum's for a roast dinner. The boys bought me Easter presents with their own money. Jacob bought me chocolates and Lewis bought me a little Easter chick.

My sister called from New Zealand. Neil, from the charity Say I Love You, has arranged for a reporter he knows out there to meet her and discuss telling my story. International fame! My song has sold about 175 copies. I would like it to sell more as it all goes to charity.

On Monday I went to the Oval race track at Angmering for a day of stock racing. I mentioned it would be fun to have a go round the track and my foster daughter Sacha went and arranged it for me to participate as a passenger in a race.

My driver was Bob West and we came third. I got a trophy and me, the boys and Sacha did a lap of honour. Yet again I am all consumed with the kindness, thoughtfulness and generous nature of others.

I had an electronic diary and it's crashed so if anyone has any meetings with me, please let me know or forgive me if I don't show! I hate letting people down.

I don't look forward to going back to normality, whatever that is now. But we are not financially in a position for me to stop work. The last thing I want is leave my family with money worries after my death.

People ask if I feel like taking the boys out of school for a long holiday with me and Tom. Naturally I can think of nothing nicer but in reality that would be really selfish because their education and future is so important. I am pleased to say their lives will go on. I hope for a very long time.